Fiona met John at a friend’s party when Fiona was 20 and was instantly attracted to his charm, kind nature, and sense of humour. Their love blossomed, a year later they were married, and have recently celebrated their 52nd Wedding Anniversary.

They lived and worked in West Sussex, John at IBM designing, developing, and implementing new computer programmes and Fiona as a teacher. They jumped at the opportunities to move to South Africa and then Scotland working for IBM, and in this time had 2 children, and now have 3 grandchildren. John eventually set up his own business in Edinburgh, teaching project management mainly on software computer programmes he had helped develop. When they retired, they both became involved in voluntary work, Fiona as a National Trust Guide in the Georgian House Edinburgh and John at the Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh, plus roles in their local Church.
In early 2020 Fiona began to realise John had some memory concerns. “My husband had been very capable, reliable, able to do so many things - suddenly things started to change - we’d drive to friends’ houses and then we'd be coming home again, and John was taking unexpected routes.”

As these memory concerns continued, later in 2020 they took the big decision to move back from Edinburgh to West Sussex to be closer to their daughter and grandchild and live in an area that John was both familiar with and has fond memories of from his younger working days.
Fiona, concerned for John’s health, asked their GP for a check-up. With Fiona’s insistence, their GP referred John for a dementia assessment, which was carried out at Sage House. John was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia in 2021- a life changing diagnosis which completely stopped them in their tracks! They had lots of shared hobbies, voluntary work, and plans for a happy fulfilling future together including holidays and time with their family.
Following John’s diagnosis, they were introduced to a Wayfinder from Sage House to help support them following the diagnosis, and who has been in regular contact with them since. From their first appointment we were able to help with information, guidance, and support for both Fiona and John. Fiona took part in our Empowering Carers course to help her understanding of dementia, whilst John was part of our Sage Minds cognitive stimulation therapy course designed to increase confidence and cognitive function for a person living with early stages of dementia.
Now 3 years on from his diagnosis, Fiona says “It still shocks me; it still shocks me after all this time. John knows something is wrong, but he doesn't understand why. But he's now in the habit of just simply saying “I can't remember, I can't remember.”
Spending more time at home and feeling isolated and struggling to cope, as John likes to be kept busy, their Wayfinder suggested a local community outreach group provided by Sage House.
At the outreach group they found friendships and could spend quality time together. Fiona reflects: “The outreach group has been really good for both of us, it gets us back into getting out of the house, chatting with people, doing things together, and that's been a good thing.”
John loves cars, he once owned an Aston Martin - his pride and joy. Fiona and John participated together side by side in many car rallies in Scotland in some wonderful cars. But John is now unable to drive, and Fiona drives them everywhere. Fiona reflects: “Not being able to drive has been probably the worst thing for John, the hardest thing for him to take.”

They often visit Goodwood Motor Circuit to see and feel the energy of the cars speeding around the track, which brings back fun memories, and keeps them active chatting to other enthusiastic drivers and visitors. Whilst the easy option may be to stay indoors, getting out and hanging on to those memories for as long as possible is important for them both.

Fiona reflects: “Sage House has had a big positive effect on us. We have used the cafe regularly, and John attended a cognitive stimulation therapy course (CST) in the earlier stages of his dementia. He even had his hair and beard cut in their dementia friendly salon, where he was able to relax in a calm and much quieter environment. John now goes to the Day Breaks which he definitely enjoys because he's kept busy and that's what he likes.”
Attending Day Breaks provides essential respite time for Fiona, who often meets with other carers in our café, or has valuable time to herself to catch up at home or simply have a rest.
“You realise you are not alone, other people have similar situations. If we didn’t have somewhere like Sage House well it just doesn’t bear thinking about. Sage House is like a lifeline.”
“If somebody didn't have some sort of support in a situation like this then I just can't imagine how they cope at all.”
“But it is scary, and I say, you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy to be in this situation.
If anyone else is in a similar position don't be scared to get in touch with Sage House. They know what they're doing, they understand the issues, and really are very helpful and you feel you're on that journey with them which you know is a good feeling, you feel safer actually.”